OPTUS BEEF !

Sure this site is dedicated to Optus (in a perverse way). But it's also important to have a laugh too. So If you've got a great joke send it on in and we can share it here. At least they wont have a cow about joke emails going around.

Ah, yes, divorce......., from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's
genitals through his wallet.
Robin Williams

You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look
that says, "My gosh, you're right! I never would've thought of that!"
Sean Connery

According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable
undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other
women.
They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just
grateful.
Robert De Niro

I am not the boss of my house. I don't know how I lost it. I don't know
when I lost it. I don't think I ever had it. But I've seen the boss's job
and I don't want it.
Bill Cosby

In the last couple of weeks I have seen the ads for the Wonder Bra. Is
that really a problem in this country? Men not paying enough attention to
women's breasts?
Hugh Grant

We have women in the military, but they don't put us in the front
lines. They don't know if we can fight or if we can kill. I think we can.
All the general has to do is walk over to the women and say, "You see the
enemy over there? They say you look fat in those uniforms."
Elayne Boosler

There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think
there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn.
Men think,"I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked."
Jerry Seinfield

If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
George Clooney

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like
and
just give her a house.
Rod Stewart

The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable
job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the
end
of the night, drop them off at the wrong house.
Jeff Bridges

See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only
enough blood to run one at a time.
Robin Williams